The Ultimate Fear

The absolute worst fear of all is that I would stop, at some point, hating older work.

Okay, so maybe hate is a strong term. But I would hate, hate, hate to get to a point where I read something I’d written several years ago and didn’t see a million things I would do differently if I were to write it again.

It would mean I hadn’t grown. I hadn’t changed my mind a hundred different times about what a story was supposed to do. 

A while back, I got the rights to the very first book I ever published: A Blue So Dark. Blue gave me my first starred review. It won awards (silver medal in Foreword Reviews INDIES Book of the Year and gold medal in the IPPYs). 

And yet…

Sure, there are things I’d do differently. But should I? 

In a way, this book captures a moment in time–and in my life. It was a real struggle to figure out what would stay and what would go.

In the end, I didn’t change the plotline or characters, none of the major points. But I did change it up quite a bit as far as the line edits went: I changed the language Aura, the main character, swears. I mean, she swears a lot.

People swear. they do. Especially when things get difficult. But in Blue, I think it’s used to the point that it takes readers out of the story. 

I’m in the midst of typing the epilogue now–which means the next step will be formatting the ebook and print versions (I’m going to do both hardback and paperback editions). 

Be sure to sign up at my YA newsletter to find out when the book is available (I’m planning a super affordable ebook upon re-release): Holly Schindler’s YA News.

Aaaand–drumroll, please–my official cover reveal:

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